Evan, Aidan, Bella & Sophia » July 2005 Journal Entries » AboutMyBaby - online baby scrapbooks, photo albums, videos, birth and pregnancy announcements

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Sat, Jul 30, 2005 5:15 AM
Happy 8 months old, Aidan. We love you with all our hearts & souls, little one. Dr. Drasnin weighed you today ~ you weigh 18 lbs. 11 oz!

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Sat, Jul 30, 2005 5:14 AM
Happy 8 months old, Evan. We love you with all our hearts & souls, little one. Dr. Drasnin weighed you today ~ you weigh 16 lbs. 10 oz!

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Fri, Jul 29, 2005 6:51 PM
Evan cut his 2nd tooth today - pretty much back to back with his first tooth. Both are on the bottom! Poor little guy, he's been miserable.

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Fri, Jul 29, 2005 4:51 PM
SALE PENDING!

I forgot to mention that on Monday, 7/25/05 (my first day of work) we got an offer on our house. If all goes well (inspections, etc.), we are set to close on 8/31/05. It's hard to believe that after our 1st open house, we are under contract. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

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Wed, Jul 27, 2005 8:45 AM
Evan cut his first tooth today (his bottom left)!!!

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Tue, Jul 26, 2005 3:44 PM
I started my new job at The Cincinnati Enquirer yesterday. Although I have the most beautiful office EVER (a giant window office on the 17th floor overlooking the Paul Brown/Bengals stadium & the Ohio River), this is still an adjustment for me. Not only am I learning a new job, but I am learning a completely new business. Working for a national newspaper is certainly different than the pharmaceuticaul business (Shire) and the 401k business (Fidelity) that I have been used to. I realize I will learn it, and learn it well, but it will take a lot of time and experience before that happens.

Everyone I have met is super nice, which is encouraging. Everyone seems to have a wonderful attitude and I feel like I have met some real allies.

I do miss the boys tremendously. Slawek stayed home with them on my first day and Grandma babysat them today. They both are doing just fine. I miss holding them, smelling them and watching their eyes glow as I sing to them. I was excited to see their eyes light up as I walked through the door, though. It was awe-inspiring.

One thing is for sure: being busy and stressed sure does make the day fly by. Hopefully in a few months, I will be able to add an update that says I am extremely happy and doing great on my new job!!!

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Sun, Jul 24, 2005 6:25 AM
Happy Name Day to me!!! Wszystkiego najlepszego z okazji imienin, Krystyna!

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Fri, Jul 22, 2005 11:10 AM
Mommy Milestone ~ Going back to work...

Well, this is it. My last day at home with my boys before I go back to work full time. I have spent some time today going back through my online updates (journal entries) reading, remembering and reflecting on my life and the journey I have been on over the past year. We certainly have been through a lot during this time: trying-to-conceive hurdles, a successful twin pregnancy, my life on bedrest and in Special Care Obstetrics (SCOB), the premature birth of Evan and Aidan, watching our preemies grow in the NICU, and my life as a stay-at-home mom of these two thriving miracles. Now I have a new journey and role: a full-time working mom and wife. How will I adjust to every day life without soothing Aidan when he wants to be held, and playing with Evan as he gets into everything? How will my boys adjust to life without their mommy singing "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider" and "Pony Boy" just to see their eyes light up? Oh how my life has been enriched with the love and experiences we share together each and every day.

I know this much... this year has been the most fulfilling and endearing year of my life. I have watched my two beautiful sons struggle for life in the NICU and now I see them eagerly experiencing the world. I remember when they weren't able to breathe nor eat on their own, and how we would pray and pray that God would give them the strength. Now I see them jumping in their JumpeRoo until they are out of breath; and I see them eating tons of jars of baby food each week. If our Neonatologist would have told me just 7 1/2 months ago that my boys would be as healthy as they are today, I don't know if I would have believed her. They are true testaments of what love, nurturing, patience and breastmilk can do for a premature baby.

God's will comes to us in amazing ways, doesn't it? I am so thankful to Him that I lost my job at Shire on February 22, 2005. I was able to spend the most important first 8 months with my babies at home full time. I have made 2 baby books, one for Evan and one for Aidan, documenting my pregnancy and these first 8 months of our lives together ~ truly wonderful memories. I will cherish these memories, as well as the family and true friends that have been through all of these experiences right along with us. Our boys are so lucky to have so many people that love them (family, friends and many cyber-Aunties). And our boys are even luckier that they will have the best daycare in the world: Grandma Campbell. They will be loved and nurtured while I am at work, something I will be ever grateful for. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. We are truly, truly blessed.

I have made enough memories during this past year to last a lifetime. May my new venture bless me with new, wonderful memories.

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Wed, Jul 20, 2005 12:29 PM
I am officially out of my entire stock of FROZEN breastmilk. I used my last bags yesterday and through the night (with nighttime feeder, Evan). I still pump first thing in the morning and last thing before bed, and my yield is about 13-14 oz. per day (down from 60 oz. per day when pumping full time). This means the boys are now predominantly eating FORMULA! They are eating 22 cal. per oz. NeoSure by Similac (which has lots of extra vitamins, minerals, proteins and calories for preemies). It is definitely good stuff they are getting. We'll see how long my body will keep producing milk just twice per day for a while. I'm okay with that.

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Mon, Jul 18, 2005 12:39 PM
Aidan cut his 3rd tooth today (on the bottom next to the first 2). Evan still has no teeth to speak of.

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Sun, Jul 17, 2005 1:37 PM
Aidan is sitting remarkably well on his own now. I am writing in his baby book that today is the day he is sitting on his own. While he will topple over every now and again, he is sitting remarkably well without assistance; and if he has something to grab onto, he does just fine!

Evan tries and does sit on his own as long as he sits really forward; but when he leans back, he kicks so hard and straight that his head hits the ground.

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Fri, Jul 15, 2005 5:32 PM
I had a mole removed and sent off to be biopsied today. I had been worried about that mole for a while, and the Dermatologist did want to send it out. I am hoping and praying it is benign (please God). Ever since I had the boys I have this weird sense of life and death. I am extra careful when I drive, for fear that I would leave this world and not be able to watch my boys grow up. When the Dr. mentioned he wanted to remove that mole, I immediately said, "oh no, don't tell me I have skin cancer. I have to raise my boys first." My lifes importance revolves around them. My prayer every night, besides God taking care and protecting my boys, is that God let me raise them.

Well, we have had one showing of our house (today) - hopefully more to come. Not sure if they are interested or not.

I am down to pumping 3 times a day now (down from 6 times a day). It's such an emotional thing for me. I am struggling with it. I know (and was told repeatedly by the NICU staff) that pumping is liquid gold for my babies. I know that it is the best I can possibly give them, and I am forcing myself to dry up. As much of an inconvenience it is to pump 6-7 times a day, I still felt good about myself for doing so. And I am purposely allowing it to go away. Why is this so difficult for me? I have really been going up and down with this. I know I need to stop. I can't start a new job with a new boss in an totally new environment and feel the pressure to go pump 3 times a day (while at work alone). I don't want to start under the circumstances, yet I still feel torn. I know I will get through it, but I have to say that I never realized this would be so emotional for me; so difficult to stop. Sounds weird, I know.

On the flip side, my new boss called today and told me how excited he is for me to join his team. It made me feel great about myself, considering we have only met once (during my 2nd interview). --notice how I am trying to focus on other things now?

PS. Mike & Jill, thank you so much for the kind words you added. We appreciate them!!

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Thu, Jul 14, 2005 12:45 PM
This touched my heart:

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," of the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on God's plan, "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me.

These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say, "Maybe God never meant for you to live." However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life. It's hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is, a disease for which I have to seek treatment. What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung or die." What if he'd never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that that was God's plan?

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."

I hope each of us holds our hearts desires in our arms soon.

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Tue, Jul 12, 2005 6:34 PM
Mommy's employed!

It's official, I am going back to work. I accepted a position as a Financial Analyst for The Cincinnati Enquirer, working in downtown Cincinnati. The offer they made me is not something I can turn down. Part of me is happy to have found such an awesome job at a wonderful company (The Cincinnati Enquirer is a subsidiary of Gannett, the nations largest newspaper chain), and part of me is extremely sad to be leaving my boys. They have been with me for over a year (including the pregnancy) and it will be a hard break for me to make. I don't know if I am ready, or ever will be ready, to leave my boys. We are such a part of each other, a working family. That's the sad part.

I start on 7/25/05. Please say a prayer that the transition from full-time Mommy to full-time employee AND Mommy is a smooth one for me, Slawek and the boys. I am hoping that Evan and Aidan deal with this major change positively.

For the rest of this week and all of next week, my goal is to ween myself from full-time pumping! Yikes! This is going to be painful.

Wish us luck...

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Mon, Jul 11, 2005 7:55 AM
HOUSE FOR SALE!

We put our house on the market yesterday. After about 2 months of getting it ready (tons of hard work with twins), we finally did it. On the one hand, we hope it sells quickly ~ on the other, we are comfortable where we are. We definitely want to move into a bigger house (once I find a job), but all these changes can be overwhelming. It's funny. After we spent so much time cleaning up, Slawek said he didn't want to leave our spotless home. We'll manage, and hopefully find a home we love even more.

We are all feeling much better. Evan does cough every now and again, but for the most part, we are fine. I was so worried last week about his coughing and my own coughing. We sounded horrible. Slawek never got sick and Aidan never got as bad as me and Evan. I guess Aidan has taken after his daddy's "never get sick" genes.

Evan and Aidan are really growing into little boys now. They have lost that *newborn* look and are now adventurous and curious about everything. Their favorite pasttime: staring out of the window, watching cars drive by. Also, whenever they are unconsolable, we just take them out onto the front porch in their bouncy seats and let them look around. It's a cure every time for those fussy blues. They both eat a ton and their naps are more regulated during they day, although they never seem to nap at the same time (bummer for Mommy).

Evan is still that little jump-a-round, hyperactive little guy. He has to be on the go constantly. Even while he is in his bouncy seat, his legs never stop kicking and fidgeting. Look out for him when he is mobile.

Aidan is still the same loving little boy. He likes to be held and loves to look at the windows. He is more of a shy guy, but gets his legs a kicking when he gets happy and excited, too.

All is well with the Gorczyk family. We are enjoying the summer together and enjoying being together. I am so lucky to have stayed with my boys at home (full time) for almost 8 months now. And they are lucky that they have received 100% breastmilk for almost 8 months now. We are all doing great!

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Tue, Jul 5, 2005 3:28 PM
We paid a visit to the Pediatrician today. All 3 of us have viral infections (of course, nothing can be done other than for the virus to *run its course*). The 3 of us are exhausted. This is the first real illness the boys have had, and with me being sick, too, I am exhausted. We can't wait for Daddy to come home tonight!

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Mon, Jul 4, 2005 3:24 PM
Happy 4th!

Both boys have been sick this weekend, I paged the Pediatrician last night. They both had me worried sick. This is the 1st time ever that they have been sick. They both have mucus head/nose (goob) and they are both coughing and it sounds like barking. I thought maybe they had crupe (sp?) so I paged the Ped. She told me to stand with them in the bathroom w/ the steamy shower going. She also told me if they get worse before I can get them in on Tuesday, to just take them to the ER. We didn't go last night, although we contemplated it once with Evan. Where in the world could they have gotten this? I also have the same illness.

I still have approximately 15-20% of my original frozen breastmilk supply left. I am still pumping about 35 - 40 oz. per day and mixing with the frozen stash. Once it's out, it's formula for us!

Friday, our WONDERFUL neighbors had us over for a grillout. They had been asking us for several weekends now (we were at the Lake). We finally made it on Friday, 7/1/05. They had a very nice gift basket for Evan and Aidan. They gave them all kinds of clothes and toys ~ and they gave Slawek and I a gift certificate to a nice restaurant. We were stunned. We had no idea they were going to do this for us. A few of the people that were there (and contributed) we had never even met before. Needless to say, we were speechless (and very grateful).

We are putting the final touches on our house. We have gotten a lot done. Our plan is to put the FOR SALE sign in the yard this week (once we all feel well), if we finalize everything today. Slawek did his painting, I cleaned the bathrooms and wiped down all the major appliances, walls and cabinets. We had the carpets steam cleaned. Away we go. I am nervous. On the one hand, we want the house to sell, on the other ~ we are afraid to give up our independence. (Remember, we will have to move in with my parents for a little bit, unless a job comes thru for me quickly). Time will tell on all accounts.

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