Evan, Aidan, Bella & Sophia » May 2005 Journal Entries » AboutMyBaby - online baby scrapbooks, photo albums, videos, birth and pregnancy announcements

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Tue, May 31, 2005 12:27 PM
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year thousands of mothers will give birth to a premature baby. Did you ever wonder how mothers of preemies are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron saint, Matthew.
Forest, Majorie, daughter. Patron saint, Ceceila.
Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron saint... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity.

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a premature baby."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But does she have patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.

"I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence that are so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child who comes in a less than perfect way. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied.

"She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says "Mommy" for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see - ignorance, cruelty, prejudice - and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, the pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

-Adapted from
Erma Bombeck
Motherhood The Second Oldest Profession

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Mon, May 30, 2005 5:14 AM
It was exactly 6 months ago, at 5:14 am and 5:15 am that our two precious miracles, Evan & Aidan, entered the world at their respective times. We are truly blessed.

Happy 6 months, boys.

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Tue, May 24, 2005 12:33 PM
Happy 3rd Birthday, Richie!!!!!!!

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Fri, May 13, 2005 9:23 AM
Happy Conception Day, Evan & Aidan!
It was exactly 1 year ago today that I conceived Evan & Aidan (well, sort of). Technically, Evan & Aidan were conceived on 5/10/04 in a little petri dish at the Institute for Reproductive Health in Cincinnati, Ohio (see photo on right), where they grew and divided for 3 days. They were officially transferred back to me 1 year ago today (5/13/04)! Today is the day I will always remember as officially being pregnant!

Thank heavens for modern day science and thank God for miracles.

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Fri, May 13, 2005 7:59 AM
Pumping is much better - no more bleeding. Turns out it was just a blood blister!

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Thu, May 12, 2005 2:28 PM
Okay, I am having some problems pumping now. At the end of my last pumping session, I ended up having 1 container of milk and another container of bloody milk. DISGUST! I think my body is starting to pay the price from the constant pumping. Hopefully things improve and I heal quickly.

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Wed, May 11, 2005 5:29 AM
Yesterday was a bit stressful w/ the boys. It was 86 degrees yesterday afternoon, and I guess they just don't like the heat. I ran to meet my mom & sister for lunch, and then I had to stop at the mall to pick up a birthday gift. Evan & Aidan were fine in the mall - but when I walked outside to load them in the car, they turned hysterical beyond belief. It had to be the heat. They ate in the mall & were changed. It was terrible. I could not leave with them like that, they would not have calmed down at that point even with me driving. I put them in the car, turn the A/C on full-blast, and ran from side to side trying to console them. My body heat exacerbated the situation, so I didn't want to pick them up. Finally, I ended up getting in the back seat (in between their car seats) and I just held them both at the same time - in front of the A/C blowing. They calmed down after 25-30 min. It was funny - this lady pulled up next to me and went into JCPenney. She bought something and walked back to her car - and when she did, I was still there going back and forth between each screaming baby. She looked at me and said, "oh, you poor thing." I felt powerless. Thank God these days are few & far between.

I also got an email back from an HR representative from a company that I sent my resume to. She is interested. We'll see what (if anything) comes of that. Part of me is so reluctant to start interviewing - for fear I will have to leave my boys. But, I guess it is imminent. I really, really, really hate to leave them - but we need my income if we want a bigger house. It's horrible, such an emotional decision for me. Tomorrow I have to report to the unemployment office with all the places I have contacted (sent resumes to) regarding employment. I have quite a few - but mostly because you are requited to (state of KY). I hate to leave E&A too soon. I would love to start somewhere 9/1 - when the boys turn 9 mo. old, no sooner.

I am still pumping, pumping, pumping. The boys still get 100% breastmilk. This is a huge accomplishment for me, something I am very proud of. It is very difficult to manage your day with two very active little ones, and still pump full time. It's worth it for me and them, though. I am no longer pumping in the middle of the night, though. Up until a few days ago, I was still forcing myself to get up around 3 am or 4 am and pump for relief. Guilty conscience and all, I stopped that pumping session about 3 days ago. I don't know how I will manage to cut out all the pumping sessions without an enormous sense of guilt. Part of me knows that I can't keep going like this, especially with summer coming so fast, but part of me wants to continue giving my boys the best they can get. How will I be able to stop and still feel good about myself as a mom? It's not like I work full-time and can't fit my pumping into my schedule, you know? Hmmm... I have a few weeks to decide.

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Sun, May 8, 2005 6:39 AM
Happy Mother's Day to me! Daddy, Evan & Aidan bought me some very beautiful Mother's Day cards - and they gave me a brand new HP printer to print all my beautiful photos and cards on. Thanks boys!! I love them!

The best gift of all - having 2 miracle baby boys and the best husband, my guardian angel, in my life. Thank you God.

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Fri, May 6, 2005 10:46 AM
Wow! I just finished packing away all the left-over Size 1 Pampers diapers we have from all the Proctor & Gamble diaper studies we have done. 1500! I have 1500 Size 1 diapers in my garage!!

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Beth: How do you get involved in P&G diaper studies?

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Wed, May 4, 2005 9:27 AM
The boys are so sweet! Honestly, this has been my favorite age with them so far. They are so cuddly and loveable. When we hug them, they look at us with love and care in their eyes now. They are also really noticing each other. Evan and Aidan both stare at each other, smiling & cooing the entire time. It is so sweet to interact and laugh with them. I thought I would miss their newborn stages, but I am in love with the stage they are in now. We are really enjoying this!

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Sun, May 1, 2005 4:26 PM
Aidan now has 2 teeth! It also appears that a 3rd tooth is about to emerge.

Evan looks like he has a tooth at the surface that is ready to pop out, but it hasn't just yet.

Let's just say I have two drooly, fussy, fist-eating babies right now.

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